can volunteering lead to a job offer?

A reader writes:

I've just starting reading your blog (obsessively) and completely love it. I'm about to graduate, completely terrified, and the advice you provide has made me feel infinitely more confident that I might not end up living in a cardboard box clutching my Bachelor's Degrees and sobbing into my UMass sweatshirt.

My question is this: There's a non-profit company in Boston that I really would love to work for. Their mission is in line with my own passions, I think that working for them would make my work feel truly valuable, and there are a lot of things that I could do there that I think I would enjoy. As a new grad however, I don't know that I have the experience to get hired for them, but I do have the option of volunteering. They have a lot of positions for volunteering, including some office positions to help with things like mailings and filing. I feel as though that might be an excellent way to get a foot in the door; I could meet people at the company and prove my enthusiasm and work ethic first hand. However, I worry that this is pointless either because volunteers are never really considered for paying positions, or because it might even be seen as underhanded because essentially I would be volunteering my time with an ulterior motive.

What do you think? Should I forget it entirely? Give it a chance but be upfront about hoping to land a job? Just go be the best volunteer they've ever had until they're begging to hire me? I should note that I completely understand that volunteering would in no way entitle me to a job, and I would be happy to give my time to a great company even if it didn't work out as I hoped.

Thank you so much for doing what you do! It really makes a difference. Reading your blog makes me feel that I might have a shot at getting to show someone what I am capable of. It's so frustrating to know that on paper you are someone that will just be tossed in the trash, and your advice gives me hope that I might be able to get someone to take a second look. Thank you.

I normally edit out compliments out of some weird sense of ... propriety? But what the hell -- these are so nice that I left them in. I enjoy lavish praise.

Absolutely you should volunteer! And you should tell them that you're hoping to be considered for a paying job at some point. People do this all the time; it's completely normal and you will not look underhanded in the least. To the contrary, they'll welcome this evidence of your engagement in their work.

If you want to work for a particular nonprofit, volunteering is a great, great way to get a foot in the door. You get to meet inside players and form relationships, get early leads on upcoming openings, and you get to demonstrate that you are reliable, talented, organized, efficient, skilled, and all the other things people look for in new hires.

Here's the most important part: By volunteering, you become a known quantity. If I have a candidate who's qualified for a job and she's a known quantity -- meaning that I know from direct experience with her that she's reliable, competent, sane, etc. -- I will almost always go with the known quantity over a marginally more qualified candidate who is a stranger to me. The reason for this is that you simply can never get to know someone as well in interviews as you can by actually working with them. The candidate who seems great in interviews can end up being flaky, disorganized, difficult to work with, all sorts of problematic things that someone can manage to hide during the hiring process. But someone you've actually worked with? You know what you're getting. And volunteering lets you become that known quantity.

(Of course, you have to be a good known quantity. That means you should treat your volunteer work as seriously as you would a paying job.)

By the way, I got one of my first jobs by volunteering. I'd been volunteering in a nonprofit's office for a few months when someone suddenly quit. They knew me and my work, and they plugged me right into the position without ever advertising it. In fact, that job led me on the path that put me in the job that I'm in today.

Go for it. Worst case scenario is that you don't end up being offered a paying job there but you've spent time helping a charity you feel good about, you've made new contacts, and you have additional work to put on your resume (because yes, volunteer work should absolutely go on your resume). Good luck!

don't mention your MENSA membership

Don't mention in your cover letter or resume that you're a MENSA member.

Just ... don't.

A candidate just told me that although she's unable to use the program that is a critical component of the job, she's sure she could do the job well anyway, and she added in parentheses: "(I am a member of MENSA)"

It's not convincing, and it's a little obnoxious.

(As an interesting side note, the qualifications for MENSA aren't even all that high, but that's so not the point.)

advice for a recent grad

A reader writes:

As a recent grad who is looking for my first real job in a market that quite frankly sucks, I've become an avid follower of your blog.

I have a bachelor's in Business Administration from a private university. Not exactly ivy league, but respectable nonetheless. My professional experience is limited to just over one year doing administrative tasks as part of my work study scholarship and a three-month international trade internship at a U.S. embassy abroad.

It seems like every job description (besides those entailing telemarketing) requires substantial experience. I was even told by one recruiter, "I don't doubt you're a smart girl, but you just don't have the experience." My question is, what options do I have in terms of my first job? It's frustrating applying for positions that I don't have a shot at, but at the same time, I want to gain some valuable experience.

I've been applying mostly for marketing assistant and sales/marketing positions. My concentration is in international business, but I've yet to find anything promising with an international twist. Also, I should forewarn you that the career placement office at my university is shamefully substandard and thus offered me little direction in terms of career options.

Thanks for whatever advice you might be able to offer!

This does suck.

A job market like this one is bad enough regardless, but having very light experience is posing an extra obstacle for you (and many, many others) because you're competing for the same jobs with people who have more experience.

First, a quick tangent that won't help you now but will help others still in school: Do internships every semester you can, so that you have work experience on your resume. Paid, unpaid, whatever it takes.

Okay, back to you. It feels like a catch-22, of course; how are you supposed to get experience when no one will hire you without it? There are actually two time-tested ways to do exactly that:

1. Temp. By temping, you'll get additional experience to put on your resume. It also has the added benefit of giving you an inside track for upcoming job openings wherever you're temping.

2. Volunteer. At a minimum, it will give you more experience to put on your resume. And it may also expand your network of people who can assist in your job search. (It will also make you feel good.)

So you're temping and/or volunteering and putting it on your resume. Meanwhile, you should also:

1. Expand the types of jobs you're looking at. I'm curious about why you're focusing on marketing positions. There's a whole world of other interesting work out there -- broaden your search to include other types of work, and you'll raise your odds. (Relatedly, be flexible on salary and location. You're not locking yourself in forever.)

2. Go for quality over quantity with your applications. This may feel counter-intuitive, but a smaller number of really well-done applications is going to get you better results than a generic resume blast to 100 places. This means, at a minimum, a cover letter that is tailored to each position you apply for. (And I mean really tailored -- at least several fresh paragraphs per job, not just plugging in the name of the company.) Read this post on cover letters. And read this one too.

And don't be afraid to show a bit of personality in your cover letter; hiring managers read so many dry cover letters all day long that coming across one that sounds like a real person, and one you might enjoy talking to, can really make a difference.

3. Be willing to pay your dues, meaning be open to low-level jobs that might have a decent amount of drudgery to them. (Nothing about your letter indicated you're not, but I want to emphasize this.) Take on the on menial stuff and do a good job with it, and eventually someone is going to let you do something more interesting.

You will get a job eventually, by the way. Hang in there, and good luck!

should you show up without an appointment?

A reader writes:

I know you cannot just send in your resume online and expect to get called. It is those applicants that are willing to try new things that might have a chance. I really want this job that was posted online. I have the experience and it would be such a good fit. Anyway, I applied online and I tried to get someone live just to talk with. I left messages for the H.R. people, but I did not expect them to call back. I want to go in with my resume and just say hello and talk. Is this going to help or hurt? I figure I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

No! Do not just show up with no appointment.

It absolutely could hurt you. If a candidate did this to me, there is a very good chance that it would ruin the person's chances. This is because:

1. I'm busy. I set aside specific blocks of time for interviews, and the rest of my day is booked up with other things. There is zero chance that I would make the time to talk with a candidate who showed up unannounced, and a high chance that I would be concerned about a candidate who didn't realize this.

2. The nature of the hiring process is that the employer decides which candidates they want to call in to interview. It's their call, not yours, and I would be annoyed that you were trying to circumvent that process.

When I have many good candidates for a job and one of them is being a nuisance, I'm less interested in that person, not more. If you want to stand out, write a great cover letter, have a resume that demonstrates a track record of success in the area they're hiring for, and follow up once, politely. Good luck!

are job candidates entitled to feedback?

When a candidate asks for feedback after not getting the job, if there's an easily articulable reason, I'll generally share it. For instance, I'll let a candidate who asks know that we were looking for someone with more experience in a certain area, or stronger writing skills, or that while the candidate was strong, another candidate was stronger, or whatever the case may be.

However, sometimes the reason would require me to be insulting or otherwise have an awkward conversation I don't want to have. For instance, I don't really want to explain to a candidate that she came to the interview dressed like a stripper, or that she seemed so fragile that I couldn't pair her with that very direct manager without worrying about daily tears, or that she just seemed a little crazy.

Now, you could argue that the right thing to do would be to share this information, hurtful or not. After all, how will these candidates improve if no one tells them what they're doing wrong? And to that I say: I'm not your job coach.

When I take the time to give candidates feedback, I'm generally doing it as a favor. Most companies won't do it at all -- they either ignore the request entirely or automatically respond with something generic and vague. And that's because either (a) they're worried about lawsuits or (b) they're sick of candidates who ask for feedback and then argue about the response. Despite (a) and (b), I'm still generally willing to give feedback, if it's easily explained and not more awkward than I feel like stomaching. But I don't believe that candidates are entitled to it; it's a favor, and it's not standard practice. (That said, I do believe that when a candidate invests a lot of time in interviewing, you should try to give them feedback whenever possible. But I know I'm in the minority there.)

I recently had a guy bombard me with calls and email demanding to know why he was rejected. He was rejected early on, after an initial screen of his resume, and he was rejected because his cover letter made him appear pompous, out-of-touch, and like a huge pain in the ass. Turns out, we were right. He called several people in my office demanding to know why he'd been rejected. I emailed him back and told him we were focusing on other candidates who were stronger matches. He responded by demanding that I call him "to explain exactly what it is" that he lacked. He then proceeded to send me numerous additional emails, arguing that his experience was superior to anything other candidates could possibly have, and suggesting that I was "afraid" to call him since I might be proven wrong.

Now, in a case like this, I suppose one option is to stop worrying about offending him and tell him directly that we rejected him because he came across like an ass. But that's guaranteed to produce further emails from him, and I'm not inclined to get into a long back-and-forth on the topic. I suppose another option would be to offer feedback on the condition that it not result in a prolonged exchange, but frankly, I don't think I'm obligated to help this guy improve his job-hunting skills.

I do think candidates should ask for feedback after rejections. But they can't bully their way into it, and they shouldn't have the attitude that they're entitled to it.

job candidates who plagiarize

Here is some advice.

If you're applying for a job, and the application process includes a written exercise, do not plagiarize your written exercise from materials you find online.

And then, when the person reviewing your exercise points out to you that entire paragraphs are word-for-word the same as what can be found online, do not try to assure her that it's somehow just coincidence.

I had a candidate do this today. It's the second time I've caught someone in this, and I have to wonder how many more I haven't caught.

Plagiarism = not a good idea. Not only is it, you know, wrong, but if you cheat your way into a job, how do you plan on keeping that job? The hiring process is designed to identify candidates who will excel in the position -- if you misrepresent your skills, you're likely to end up in a job that you aren't a good fit for and might get fired from.

So why do people do this? I suspect it's some combination of cockiness and laziness -- the belief that their own work would be just as good, but they just aren't inclined to put in the time to do it themselves.

I kind of wish we could print their names publicly, like the hiring equivalent of a sex offenders list.

should you add IQ or Myers Briggs to your resume?

A reader writes:

Applicants always want their resume to stand out. Well, I know that a few of the companies I have worked for know of the Myers-Briggs Personality Type test. Although it is not seen as "professional" (yet), I have seen it posted in many settings and have even seen workshops on this stuff.

Would this be a good thing to add to a resume to make it stand out?

By that same token, would an IQ score be something to add? I mean, it is a test of problem solving and reasoning, which are valuable skills in the workplace.

No! Do not under any circumstances put your IQ on your resume. You will look pompous (assuming it's high), weird, and ... just strange. If you are smart, count on it to come across on its own in your materials, your achievements, and your interview.

Don't put your Myers-Briggs type either, unless you're in a field where it's widely considered useful currency. I don't know what those fields are or if there even are any, but if one exists and you're in it, presumably you'll know. But otherwise, you risk appearing a little cheesy to some (although probably not all) resume readers. I suppose you can mention it in your cover letter if it's somehow highly relevant to the needs of the job, but leave it off the resume. (But I bet someone will disagree with me on this, and I'm looking forward to reading their reasoning in the comments.)

Resumes are for listing your accomplishments; they're not for personal traits. Listing that you're an "ESTJ" does give me some information about you, but it doesn't tell me what you've achieved and experienced, which is what I'm looking for when I look at your resume.

Anyone want to argue the opposite?

applying for a job in another state

A reader writes:

What is your take, as a hiring manager, on job applicants who apply to positions in your company from out of state (let's say New York applicant for a California job)? Do they immediately go to the circular file or are they considered as seriously as other applications? What if the applicant expresses an interest in relocating to your area provided he or she gets a job first?

Are out of state applicants treated differently if they are entry, mid, Director and Executive levels -- meaning the higher up you are and the position you apply for, the more likely you will be considered as an out of state applicant?

This varies depending on the job. For higher-level or hard-to-fill jobs, location isn't much of an issue. For other jobs, especially those that attract an overwhelming number of applicants, location gets factored in. This is because if I have a number of seemingly just as qualified local applicants, I can interview them faster and without paying to fly them in, and if I hire a local person, I won't need to pay relocation or wait for them to move before they can start work.

However, out-of-town applicants can get around that in a couple of ways:

* State in your cover letter that you are planning to move to my city (and if you can mention a specific ETA, that's even better) and don't need relocation assistance.

* Make it clear in your cover letter that you would be happy to get yourself to my city for an interview.

If you do those things, you've pretty much negated any bias toward locals that I might have had.

calling to follow up after applying for a job

A reader writes:

Thanks in advance for your help. I have been applying online for jobs with no success. I never hear back although I am sure to be qualified for the positions I am applying for.

My question is: Is it poor etiquette to call the local company and speak to a manager regarding the position or should I wait for a recruiter to call me? I don't want to jeopardize my chances of an interview by being presumptuous.

It's fine to call -- once. What you don't want to do is harass them, but one phone call a few days or a week after you submit your application is fine. It might sound something like this: "I submitted my application for your __ position last week, and I just wanted to make sure my materials were received. I also want to reiterate my interest in the position; I think it might be a great match, and I'd love to talk with you about it when you're ready to begin scheduling interviews."

Something like that -- short and sweet -- is fine. What's not fine is something that some job-hunting guides advise: saying that you're calling "to schedule an interview." You don't get to decide to schedule the interview; they do, and it's presumptuous, not "good salesmanship" or whatever those books claim, to pretend otherwise. Someone out there is also advising people to say things like that in their cover letter, which is leading to lots of closing lines like, "I will call you in a week to schedule a time to talk." Ick.

can I make the company give me THEIR references?

Yep, a Black Friday extravaganza: three posts in one day.

A reader writes:

After the second interview, when an interview requests my references, is it ever possible to turn around and also ask the interviewer for references from the prospective company? I would only do this if (1) I am really sure that I want the position, but I've heard things about the company about turnover/chronic underperformers/bad juju and (2) if I felt comfortable enough with the interviewer to do so.

Would this move be perceived as obnoxious?

I'm envisioning it as a bit of a 360 degree interview, because if I am going to leave my current job for one that seems more stellar, I feel that I have the right to also investigate what I'm leaving for -- the real picture, not the one that's given in interviews. Your opinion?

(For the record, I haven't yet done this, but came close many times. I also wish in some jobs that I had insisted.)

Yes, you can do this, and it does happen occasionally, so the company shouldn't think it's crazy. (Although frankly, even if you were the first person in the history of the world to ask it, they still shouldn't think it's crazy because it's a smart thing to do, but many, many people -- less intelligent ones -- think things they haven't encountered before are crazy.)

However, because it's not a common request, be careful about the way you ask for it.

Give context and frame it in a positive light, not a precautionary measure that you're taking after being burned previously. For instance, explain that you are looking for a position where the fit is really right because you want to stay for a long time, and ask if you can talk to others who work in the department, or even the previous people who held the job.

This is a reasonable request, and if the company is resistant to it, that's a huge red flag -- either because they're hiding something or because they have a culture problem that makes them think reference-checking should be a one-way street, which is possibly indicative of an environment where employees' opinions and quality of life aren't valued. (Although if you're asking to talk to previous people who held the job, it's reasonable for them not to offer up anyone who was fired, disgruntled, or generally not very good at the job.)

However, do wait to ask this until an offer has been made. Your request will take up time from people whose schedules aren't slated to include this sort of thing, and so it's reasonable for the company to want to wait on that until they know they're interested in hiring you.

interviewing at a company with lay-offs

A reader writes:

Well first off, you have a great blog, which is extremely informative and finally gives job applicants a sense of what is going on in the hiring manager's mind. Plus almost every post ends in "he/she is a jerk/ass," which always makes the reading that much more enjoyable.

I had an interview with a company on October 9th, where I met with the Hiring Manager, and a HR Manager which went very well. I was given a time-line of 2 weeks, of when would be an acceptable time to follow up, and was reassured that I would definitely hear back from them either which way. The hiring manager replied back to my thank you note, with the following "Thank you for your note and also your time yesterday regarding the position. I really enjoyed our conversation and getting to know you a little better. You will be hearing from us in the next couple of weeks regarding next steps."

After the two week period, I called up the HR Manager, who quickly returned my call and stated that I would probably hear something back either today, or the following day. I have not heard back from anyone. I ended up calling the HR manager after about another week and left VM, and I had also emailed the Hiring Manager to try to get a status update. Well, earlier this week (over a month later), the company just announced that it was laying off between 450-600 employees with an estimated 250 being white-collar. The last time I attempted to contact anyone was 10 days ago (left VM for hiring manager). I think I know what happened to the position, but would it make good sense to attempted to connect to the hiring manager and bring up the news and wish her and her department best of luck throughout the process, and then ask for a status update?

Thank you -- I'm glad my free-wheeling name-calling is going over well.

I tend to think your hunch is right. They're not hiring anymore. That's not to say that companies never hire when they're in the middle of layoffs -- some positions have to be filled no matter what, even when other areas are being cut. But in this case, I'm inclined to think you're right because both managers were so responsive early on.

That said, it doesn't hurt to be sure, and it's also a good idea to wrap things up in a professional way so that if they start hiring again at some point, you've reinforced the good impression they already have of you. I would email a note exactly like what you suggested -- with one modification: Don't ask for a status update. Instead, say something like, "I assume you're no longer hiring for the position given this difficult time, but I remain interested if you begin hiring again in the future." That gets the same point across and gives her an opening to tell you if in fact you're wrong, but it's more sensitive to the situation they're likely in.

Good luck!

how to apply for multiple jobs at one company

A reader writes:
There is a community development organization I really want to work for because it seems to fit my personality very well; they share an appreciation for community outreach, planning policy, and youth. However, I am interested in two job openings. The first position is within the field of my professional degree, but I might be under qualified with my years of experience. The second position is working with youth, which I have volunteer experience in but might [face] grueling competition in this economy. Is there a way to apply for both? Or do I have to choose? If I must choose, which one would you suggest?

You can apply for both, but you need to be careful about how you do it.

Want to read the rest of the answer? Head over to U.S. News & World Report, where I answer this question today.

don't stalk the hiring manager

Don't cross the line from enthusiastic job-seeker to irritating stalker. Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about how to navigate the line. Please check it out, comment, etc.!

(After I wrote this, I saw that the awesome Rachel over at I Hate HR is getting bothered by this too. Check out hers as well.)

should I apply for the junior or senior position?

A reader writes:

I am applying for jobs after a short gap due to personal reasons. At one company I am interested in, there are 2 positions open - a senior position (two years of experience required in "finance or accounting or related experience") and a junior position (no experience required). I have the "related experience" in economics. But I am concerned that another candidate's more directly related finance experience may outweigh my experience in economics. So should I apply to the junior position and risk being rejected for being overqualified? Do I write in the cover letter that I am applying for both positions? Should I call up HR and ask them to clarify? What would you suggest?

I would apply for the more senior position. However, it's fine to note that you aren't sure if your experience is precisely what they're seeking for that position, and that you'd like to be considered for the other position if in their opinion it's a better match.

Now, if they're good at hiring, this is almost unnecessary because they may funnel you toward the opening that's most appropriate for you anyway. I email candidates all the time to say, "Hey, I don't think you're a strong match with Job X, but would you like to be considered for Job Y?" But of course you can't count on people doing that, so you'll cover your bases by doing it for them.

I think some people might say that you're under-selling yourself by expressing openness to a lower level position. But I think it just says that you recognize that they know the needs of the positions best at this stage, and you're deferring to their more in-depth knowledge. Good luck!

stupid candidate behavior: not checking email

Here's a thought: If you're applying for jobs, you might want to check your email on a somewhat regular basis.

In the last week, I've had three candidates say they didn't know that we emailed them some questions about their applications, because "my Internet has been down for a week" and other variations of this.

Seriously?

If you're job hunting, and you're including an email address on your resume, ignoring your email is the same as sending out a bunch of resumes and then turning off your phone for a week.

There are ways to check your email when your Internet is down -- for free at a friend's house or at many public libraries, or for a few dollars at a Kinko's (update: which I have just been informed is now called FedEx Office).

We happened to call these candidates after not hearing from them because I am incredibly anal retentive that way. Most places aren't and would have just tossed them from their candidate pile.

If you're job hunting, check your email.

questions from a recent grad

A reader writes:

I am a recent grad, working as a full-time intern in the field of my undergrad major. I couldn't have asked for a more nurturing and empathetic department; they give me semi-challenging jobs, find time to answer my questions, give me many opportunities to take initiative, and really prioritize me to have a meaningful intern experience. However, this was only supposed to be a summer internship, and my manager has already extended my employment to the maximum six months.

He jokes about a permanent position afterward, but, honestly, the long commute is much too draining and I'm not sure whether this is the field I would like to stay in. I wish I had this internship after graduate school because the internship has a lot of potential to become a full-time job offer, with good perks (and great pay). At my life stage right now, I want to explore other fields, such as art or teaching, both of which require time to develop a portfolio or get some professional training.

With that said, I have a series of questions that I hope you could offer your advice for:

1) Is it alright to let my director know I'm looking for other offers after the internship? I have the impression that job hunting is a hush-hush operation. Also, in that case, what are some steps I can take to leave my foot in the door at this agency to come back in maybe... 4 years or so?

2) Should I be looking for a job while I am still working? I have three months left, and from what I can tell, most job opportunities (a lot of really good job opportunities) would probably like the position to start earlier than three months. Do people ever interview, find out the timing isn't right, and then ask to be considered in a month or two?

3) Is it alright to apply for jobs that I might be under-qualified for? Most often, I don't meet the "years of experience" requirement. Looking at the job tasks, I am really up for the challenge; I could do a good job! Yet, with work, I can't find enough time to write so many cover letters, especially if I'm just under-qualified anyway.

4) Recently, my design work and all my back ups either got lost during moving or during liquid mishaps. Thus, though I am interested in working in design jobs, I have no portfolio. I'm taking a class right now to start getting some work samples, but was wondering whether you had any experience in this field and had any advice (since it takes a very long time to develop a portfolio).

5) Also, the experience I have that I feel demonstrates my skills and passions the most, such as leading groups, marketing events, planning campus art exhibits, and mentoring, all fall under one organization... that is religiously affiliated. Moreover, it is volunteer work. I am comfortable with putting the word "Christian" into my resume, but don't want to be screened for it. What is your advice?

5) I had the privilege of working at two solid institutions during college. Some acquaintances have asked, on a number of occasions, to help give them a reference for a full-time job. I'm not sure how this networking really works. Do I just email my manager and tell them, "Hey, I have a friend who wants to work here. She's a good worker"?

Okay, let's take these one at a time.

1. Because your director knows that the internship has a definite ending date, it's absolutely okay to him know you're job-hunting. It would be odd if you weren't (see #2 below), and he knows that. And as far as keeping the door open to come back at some point, you should let him know that you love the organization, are grateful for the experience they've given you, and would love to come back some day. And when you leave, make sure you keep in touch with him; email him periodically to check in and let him know what you're doing.

2. Yes, you should definitely be looking for a job while you're still working! If you have three months left, this is a good time to start. You should assume that job-hunting will take a while; even once you get an interview, the process can take some time -- I'm talking months at some places, although ideally only weeks -- so three months ahead would be completely normal. The absolute worst that can happen if you start too early is that you get an offer way too early and turn it down; the worst that can happen if you start too late is that you end up unemployed with no income. You're better off risking the former.

3. Regarding being under-qualified and applying anyway: Job advertisement are like wish lists. They will look at people who don't perfectly match all their requirements. Within reason, of course -- if they're asking for 10 years of experience and you have one, that's too much of a jump. But if the postings says four years of experience and you have two, and you think you could do the job, apply anyway.

4. Is there any way to reassemble your portfolio? Can you get in touch with others who might have samples of your work? If not, is it feasible to simply create some samples on your own, just so that you have something to show people?

5. I wouldn't worry too much about having a religiously affiliated organization on your resume. Some people will like it, and most won't care. If you run into the rare person who has an issue with it, you don't want to work for them anyway. (And I say this as a non-religious person.)

6. Last, if a friend asks you to recommend them for a position, first make sure that you really want to recommend them. Remember, when you recommend someone, your own reputation is at stake. So only recommend people if you have a solid opinion of their professional abilities. If you don't, or if you don't know anything about their professional abilities, you can always just pass on their application to your manager with a note saying something like, "I wanted to pass this on to you, but I should note that I don't know her well enough to give you a meaningful recommendation." You don't want to be the person who recommended the guy who embezzled from the company.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

following up when you have a friend on the inside

A reader writes:

I have been out of the corporate world for two years. I have been a stay-at-home-mom and have only done some (very) PT work, here and there. But recently I have found myself in a position to where I need to return to work full-time.

One of my best friends works for a large and prestigious hospital in our town, in their marketing department. He needs a partner, as the last person who worked as his partner has just quit. It would be my ideal job. I’m qualified for the position, and the hospital has wonderful benefits. He recommended me to the hiring manager, who really likes him and respects his input. The manager said that I needed to follow protocol and put an application through the company’s website. It took a long time for the job opening to post on the website, but when it did, I applied that very morning. I also sent a very well-written and articulate cover letter. My friend immediately informed the hiring manager that I had applied, who in turn, called down to HR and specifically requested my application and resume. Later he summoned my friend into his office and showed him that my resume was sitting on his desk. It sounded pretty promising, and so I anticipated a phone call to set up a first interview.

That was almost two weeks ago, and I have heard nothing. My friend asked the hiring manager today when he would be getting a new partner, as he is inundated with work. The hiring manager replied that he was sorry, and had “lots of irons in the fire,” but asked him, “Have you talked to your friend?” My friend, not wishing to make me sound desperate, said that we had spoken once about the position and that I was still very interested in it. And that was about the extent of the conversation. Why hasn’t the manager called me, if he is asking my friend about me?

Here’s my dilemma: I have no idea how to effectively follow-up with this. It’s kind of a weird situation. HR makes it to where there is absolutely no way to contact their department. They send you a confirmation e-mail stating that they will be in touch should they require an interview. Would finding a way to contact them sound pushy? I’m thinking so, but I have no idea. And I have never met the hiring manager, so it would be kind of odd to try and get in touch with him, right? Should I just wait and see if he contacts me? I’m unsure because while I feel reasonably confident that I will get an interview, I have no way of knowing what other applicants have applied – who have more marketing experience and who haven’t been staying at home, like I have, for the past two years.

I just don’t know how to proceed. I would like to keep the thought of me fresh in his mind, but I don’t want to appear pushy or high maintenance before I even get an interview. But I really, really, really want this job. And I know many other people are clamoring for it. Can you please advise me on what is the right thing to do – and also, what might be going on to where I’m not being contacted? I would greatly appreciate it!

I think your friend is your best tool here -- he works there, he has recommended you, and he has an understandable personal interest in getting the job filled. Put him to work on your behalf -- he needs to push for hiring to move forward (this is legitimate, since he is stuck doing extra work while the position is vacant) and ideally he'd imply that he's concerned about losing good candidates, particularly you, the longer things take.

However, on top of that, you can absolutely reach out to the people involved in hiring on your own. Trust me, candidates do this all the time. Simply follow up to reiterate your strong interest in the position and ask what their timeline for interviewing is likely to be. It's not pushy.

Also, keep in mind that the hiring process often takes longer than a candidate would like, for all sorts of reasons. Nerve-wracking, yes, but don't read too much into it. Good luck!

cold calling versus sending a resume

A reader writes:

I am a recent graduate who is still in the process of looking for a job. My interest is in event planning and I realize this is a hard field to get into without any experience. I have done a couple of internships and have a few companies that I would like to send my resume/cover letter to in the following weeks.

My question is in regard to cold calling companies at random to see if they have any entry level/internship positions open. Is it better to just give the companies a call, or send an email with my resume/cover letter? Do people still send their resumes through regular mail? I would just like to have my resume looked over by the companies and to be considered. Any advice you would have on this would be great!

Personally, I hate cold calls. They interrupt people at a time that likely isn't convenient, and in many cases, the information the caller wants ("do you have any openings?") is available on the company's Web site, specifically to discourage calls like this. So I'm not a fan ... but plenty of job-hunting guides advise them, so maybe someone is.

I would instead send an email with your resume and a really strong cover letter. Regular mail is fine if you prefer it, but it's become so rare that in a way it stands out as a little weird, almost naively old-fashioned. (I'm sure some hiring managers will disagree with me on that, but for your purposes, what you need to know is that everyone is agreed that email is perfectly acceptable.)

Also, take advantage of your college's career office. They should be able to put you in touch with alumni who are in your field and might be able to help. You just paid them tens of thousands of dollars; make them keep working for you.

bad job vs. possibly unstable new company

A reader writes:

I took a job that I am not well suited for, but have done just satisfactorily elsewhere in the past. But personality conflict with my manager and my resistance to working hours that would eliminate any work / life balance ended up leading to my demotion.

I'm concerned that I've been irreparably labeled at this company. I am fairly uncomfortable there. I've had a successful phone interview with another company and my interview with the hiring manager is Monday. This position would be a much better fit for me, but the economy has been tough for a while and although this new company (it's a large company) has remained pretty successful, they had some salaried layoffs a year ago and could always end up facing more if the weak economy drags on (especially weak in my region).

I'm a strong match for the new position and its culture and I interview pretty well, so I think I have a good chance of getting an offer. Do you think I'd be better off pursuing the new opportunity or riding things out in my current situation until we have a stronger, more stable economy?

I'd say pursue the new position. You're in a job where (a) you aren't well-suited for the work, (b) you have a personality conflict with your manager, (c) you disagree about the number of hours you should work, and (d) you've already been demoted. This situation is not good. In fact, not only should you pursue the position you're interviewing for, but you should likely conduct a full-scale job search.

While the new company had lay-offs a year ago, your current situation is so precarious that it's certainly no better than a company with lay-offs a year ago and may in fact be worse. Of course, do your due diligence on this new company; do research into and ask about their financial outlook and so forth. And if the information you find doesn't make you confident, you may want to look at other options instead. But by all means, actively work to leave your current position.

will attitude affect references?

A reader writes:

Since I graduated University six years ago, I have worked for a large health care organization in several different roles. Shortly after I started the job that I am currently in, I experienced several major upheavals in my life during a very short time frame. I am not using these events as an excuse, but merely to illustrate the progression of events to present day.

As the months have gone by, I have become increasingly depressed and resentful, in part due to these events and in part due to complete job dissatisfaction and unhappiness. The field I am in (administrative assistant) is not one that I ever wanted to be in. Not that there is anything wrong with this type of job, but I have a University degree and it was never my intention to spend my working life making coffee and recording minutes. Recently, the department I am in experienced a massive internal reorganization, and I was re-assigned to a new area in the same department. All of the above combined has resulted in a severe impact on my mood, and it has unfortunately started to come across in my behavior. I do not bring my home life to work, but there are days when it is impossible to just switch off and not think about anything other than my job, and so as a result I am not as "smiley" and happy as I once was. I am good at what I do; I am efficient, highly organized, responsible, and a hard worker. All of these traits and qualities are ones that have been recognized in prior performance reviews or have even been said directly to me; I am not just trying to make myself sound good. However, I smile very infrequently now, since I am not happy. I am polite - it is not in me to be rude, but I am not happy, and it is quite apparent.

My dilemma is this: I am looking for another job, closer to home, in a different field, and one that I am hoping will make me feel more engaged and fulfilled. Shortly after the internal reorganization, my new supervisor came to me and indicated that while I do good work, people have come to him expressing concerns about my attitude. As I indicated earlier, I am polite. I complete my work on time or early, efficiently, and correctly. But it seems that because I am not as willing to join people for lunch anymore, or to smile as much, that this is being held against me. I was told repeatedly during the conversation that I needed to change my attitude. This too I confess I started to resent, because I understood what my supervisor was saying the first time, and did not feel that he needed to reiterate the same point an additional four times.

Putting aside all the other questions I have, my main concern at this point is what kind of a reference I am going to get. In point of fact, I do not want to list anyone I currently work with as a reference, as I am concerned that they will highlight my short-term unhappiness to the detriment of mentioning all the good qualities that I possess. I have had experience working in human resources, and first-hand experience in interviewing people and performing reference checks, and yet I do not know how to handle the situation I am in. I know that not putting my current supervisor on my list of references can raise a red flag. In addition, I do not want my current employer to know that I am looking, since if he is called and I do not get an offer, I then have to continue working for someone who now knows that I am looking for other work. I do have other references from previous jobs, but the most recent of those is getting on for two years old, and most prospective employers want to speak with someone who has had more recent knowledge of my skills and abilities.

I have been doing some research about what employers can and cannot say about past employees, and frankly I am worried that because of the above circumstances, and my work colleague's interpretation of my attitude, that it is going to negatively impact my chances of getting a new job. I know employers cannot say anything that comes across as specifically malicious, but I feel that there is a very fine line between what a prospective employer needs to know and what is just unnecessarily malicious.

Any suggestions that you have would be most appreciated, as I am feeling very conflicted. The job environment I am in right now is not one where I can thrive, and I am more and more worried that my chances of getting a job which allows me to be happier will not be possible, all because of a few months that are now being held against me as my overall "attitude."

Oh, there's so much here. Let's see:

1. I suspect your resentment is showing in more ways than just not smiling and not going to lunch. If you're that unhappy at having to be there, it's showing, believe me.

2. Being resentful penalizes you in several different ways -- not only does it make you unhappy (which is bad enough on its own), but it actually may be standing in the way of your ability to take action to change the very thing you're unhappy with (your career) if you're concerned about its impact on your references. Double penalty, and in both cases, it harms no one but you. Drop the resentment. Focus on the fact that you're now taking action to do something different. Generally speaking, you have more power than you realize over your responses and emotions and can make the mental shift if motivated to it.

Unless you're depressed, which brings us to...

3. Tell your manager that you've had some things going on in your personal life that are taking a toll on you. You don't need to be specific, but I think it will help things to explain that there's a non-work-related reason for your recent attitude. If he's not a jerk, he's likely to soften his assessment once he knows that.

4. You were irritated that your manager repeated the same message to you several times, when you got it the first time. Often when people do this, it's because the employee isn't showing any indication that she's getting the message. You need to respond in a way that acknowledges what's being said and indicates what you plan to do in response. For instance: "I appreciate you telling me this. Some events in my personal life have affected my mood, and I didn't realize it was so apparent. I probably won't be going to lunch with people much because I'm not feeling very social lately, but I'll try to make sure it doesn't impact my other interactions with people."

5. Now, on to your actual questions. It's very normal when job-searching to request that prospective employers not contact your current employer, since most people don't want their employer to know they're looking. Some interviewers will be content with only contacting references from prior jobs. Others may ask to speak to your current employer, but it's completely fine (and normal) to ask them to wait to do that until they're ready to make you an offer.

6. You say, "I feel that there is a very fine line between what a prospective employer needs to know and what is just unnecessarily malicious." It's not malicious for an employer to talk about an employee's attitude and many reference-checkers will ask about that sort of thing. Reference checks are about more than how the person performed the duties of the job; they're also often about people skills, and this is legitimate.

So I think your best bet is to just address it head-on: If you're about to get an offer and they want to talk to your current employer (which they may not even ask to do, if you provide them with lots of other references from before this job), mention that you had some personal upheaval in the last year and you weren't as cheery as you normally are, and you know they noticed -- so that the reference-checker is prepared to hear that and has some context if it comes up.

That's really all you can do -- the facts are what they are, and now it's just a matter of providing context for them. Unless your attitude was far more horrid than your letter makes clear, my hunch is that it probably won't stand in your way. However, you should pledge to yourself that you'll never let your attitude at work get to that point again, because as you're seeing now, it ends up affecting you in the end. Good luck!