If your manager takes the time to give you constructive criticism, responding defensively is the worst thing you can do. My post at U.S. News & World Report this week talks about what not to do -- and what you should do -- when your boss gives you feedback. Read it here.
Monday, June 30, 2008
how to take criticism without getting defensive
If your manager takes the time to give you constructive criticism, responding defensively is the worst thing you can do. My post at U.S. News & World Report this week talks about what not to do -- and what you should do -- when your boss gives you feedback. Read it here.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
should you be honest in an exit interview?
A reader writes:
I am leaving my job in a few days, on excellent terms. Our HR manager just set up the exit interview and (somewhat to my surprise) asked me to fill out an exit survey. Is this normal? This is my first "real" job, so I don't know.
The survey asks, among other things, my reasons for leaving. Fair enough. However, I'm concerned that the unvarnished truth could damage the terms of my departure. Am I supposed to tell it? My stated and primary reason for leaving is to go back to school, but I've been very unhappy with certain changes in company culture in recent months, such as increasingly long hours (55 is the minimum, 60+ is very common) and the expectation that we all work the weekends. The company has grown faster than we can hire, but these were not the expectations I signed up for. I have a great boss with whom I have spoken in private about these items (my boss agreed but is not in a position to make changes), but I'm not so comfortable talking with HR. At the same time, my coworkers have expressed fear over my imminent departure, and turnover is through the roof. Morale is terrible. Should I voice the concerns of the junior people, or should I just make sure the terms of my departure stay excellent?
Yes, exit interviews and exit surveys are very common. People frequently recommend not being candid on them, out of fear of burning your bridges ... but I totally disagree. As a manager, I know there are things going on that I don't know about, and I rely on people being candid with me so that I can fix things that need to be fixed -- whether it's unreasonable expectations, a tyrannical manager, or whatever. So I cringe every time I see people advised not to be forthright in exit interviews.
That said, you do want to factor in what you know about how your company, and this HR manager in particular, handles honest feedback. Do they have a history of shooting the messenger? If so, they have only themselves to blame if no one is candid with them. But assuming they've seemed reasonably open to feedback in the past, my advice is to be honest about the things that bothered you. And assuming you can do so without resorting to lying, balance it out with comments about things you did like, so that you don't leave them with an impression of overwhelming disgruntlement.
I am leaving my job in a few days, on excellent terms. Our HR manager just set up the exit interview and (somewhat to my surprise) asked me to fill out an exit survey. Is this normal? This is my first "real" job, so I don't know.
The survey asks, among other things, my reasons for leaving. Fair enough. However, I'm concerned that the unvarnished truth could damage the terms of my departure. Am I supposed to tell it? My stated and primary reason for leaving is to go back to school, but I've been very unhappy with certain changes in company culture in recent months, such as increasingly long hours (55 is the minimum, 60+ is very common) and the expectation that we all work the weekends. The company has grown faster than we can hire, but these were not the expectations I signed up for. I have a great boss with whom I have spoken in private about these items (my boss agreed but is not in a position to make changes), but I'm not so comfortable talking with HR. At the same time, my coworkers have expressed fear over my imminent departure, and turnover is through the roof. Morale is terrible. Should I voice the concerns of the junior people, or should I just make sure the terms of my departure stay excellent?
Yes, exit interviews and exit surveys are very common. People frequently recommend not being candid on them, out of fear of burning your bridges ... but I totally disagree. As a manager, I know there are things going on that I don't know about, and I rely on people being candid with me so that I can fix things that need to be fixed -- whether it's unreasonable expectations, a tyrannical manager, or whatever. So I cringe every time I see people advised not to be forthright in exit interviews.
That said, you do want to factor in what you know about how your company, and this HR manager in particular, handles honest feedback. Do they have a history of shooting the messenger? If so, they have only themselves to blame if no one is candid with them. But assuming they've seemed reasonably open to feedback in the past, my advice is to be honest about the things that bothered you. And assuming you can do so without resorting to lying, balance it out with comments about things you did like, so that you don't leave them with an impression of overwhelming disgruntlement.
returning to old company
A reader writes:
I have been at my current job for only 2 months. but I am really not happy. I do not agree with my boss' practices and views on how to do my responsibilities (my boss is also the president of the company). Management is a bit disorganized. my responsibilities are not clear, and their timetable is unrealistic. When they hired me, they told me it's because they need my marketing experience because they are technical people, but now my boss wants me to do my tasks his way. I feel that instead of me developing the skills I have acquired in my years of working, I now have to unlearn them. Also some of the practices and ethics I don't agree with, and when I try to explain, I am met with irritation and negativity from my boss.
At first I told myself that this may just be the pains of starting a new job, but I have talked to some of my coworkers and it seems that they have the same issues. That got me thinking that maybe things aren't going to change after all. But since I have just been here a couple of months, I wanted to ride it out, stay a couple more months and see. but I really think I want to resign.
Now comes the dilemma. My previous employer has expressed a desire to get me back. I haven't gotten many of the details but I will have a talk with them soon. All I know is it's a different position from what I previously had there before. I loved that company and the people there. I left because I was feeling the urge to go off and explore a new frontier but when I left, my bosses made it clear that I would be welcome back.
So what does it say about me if I leave only after 2 months? What if i do come back to my previous employer and then I still feel the need to explore? The position they're offering is completely different and a new industry for me, and I'm not entirely sure I want to change careers.
Well, first let me say that if at all possible, I'd first talk to your new boss about some of your concerns and see if any of them can be resolved. As a manager, I'd at least want the chance to know what my staffer wasn't liking before I lost them altogether.
But if that doesn't resolve anything and/or you're determined to leave, keep in mind that you have more options besides just your old company. Don't take the job they're offering just because it's an easy way out of your current situation, or you could find yourself stuck in another position you're not happy with. What I recommend is meeting with your old company to learn as much as you can about the new position. Because you know them, you should be able to get them to paint you a really candid position of the new position, department, obstacles, etc. A word of caution: Go into this meeting as objectively as you can, without having already secretly decided you want to take it. Sometimes when people are desperate for an out, they block out red flags or other important info that might push them in a different direction, so don't fall into that trap.
On the flip side of that, maybe this new position would satisfy your desire for new frontiers -- with the benefit of getting to come back to a company and people you love.
That said, why not also look around at other positions at the same time? It won't hurt, and you might discover a completely new option that you like even more. It's better to be able to pick from an entire menu of options, rather than confining yourself to only two. Good luck!
I have been at my current job for only 2 months. but I am really not happy. I do not agree with my boss' practices and views on how to do my responsibilities (my boss is also the president of the company). Management is a bit disorganized. my responsibilities are not clear, and their timetable is unrealistic. When they hired me, they told me it's because they need my marketing experience because they are technical people, but now my boss wants me to do my tasks his way. I feel that instead of me developing the skills I have acquired in my years of working, I now have to unlearn them. Also some of the practices and ethics I don't agree with, and when I try to explain, I am met with irritation and negativity from my boss.
At first I told myself that this may just be the pains of starting a new job, but I have talked to some of my coworkers and it seems that they have the same issues. That got me thinking that maybe things aren't going to change after all. But since I have just been here a couple of months, I wanted to ride it out, stay a couple more months and see. but I really think I want to resign.
Now comes the dilemma. My previous employer has expressed a desire to get me back. I haven't gotten many of the details but I will have a talk with them soon. All I know is it's a different position from what I previously had there before. I loved that company and the people there. I left because I was feeling the urge to go off and explore a new frontier but when I left, my bosses made it clear that I would be welcome back.
So what does it say about me if I leave only after 2 months? What if i do come back to my previous employer and then I still feel the need to explore? The position they're offering is completely different and a new industry for me, and I'm not entirely sure I want to change careers.
Well, first let me say that if at all possible, I'd first talk to your new boss about some of your concerns and see if any of them can be resolved. As a manager, I'd at least want the chance to know what my staffer wasn't liking before I lost them altogether.
But if that doesn't resolve anything and/or you're determined to leave, keep in mind that you have more options besides just your old company. Don't take the job they're offering just because it's an easy way out of your current situation, or you could find yourself stuck in another position you're not happy with. What I recommend is meeting with your old company to learn as much as you can about the new position. Because you know them, you should be able to get them to paint you a really candid position of the new position, department, obstacles, etc. A word of caution: Go into this meeting as objectively as you can, without having already secretly decided you want to take it. Sometimes when people are desperate for an out, they block out red flags or other important info that might push them in a different direction, so don't fall into that trap.
On the flip side of that, maybe this new position would satisfy your desire for new frontiers -- with the benefit of getting to come back to a company and people you love.
That said, why not also look around at other positions at the same time? It won't hurt, and you might discover a completely new option that you like even more. It's better to be able to pick from an entire menu of options, rather than confining yourself to only two. Good luck!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
no, you cannot sue ... but you can negotiate or quit
A reader writes:
I work at a highly respected multi-billion dollar aviation corporation. This company has been in a long-term project that I have been involved with for nearly seven years.
During the duration of this project, I have been "on loan," along with several other employees from various business areas. Our various official job titles and compensation levels have remained tied to our home departments and our "real" jobs. None of us are doing our normal job functions, our job responsibilities are significantly different and in general are broader in scope than our contemporaries and yet we do similar functions within the special project group. We have a significant base pay imbalance across a small group of people, all with similar new responsibilities. All of us have attempted at one time or another to interview within the company for positions outside the special project group and not once has anyone been successful in these attempts. We have been attempting to get the management to create permanent jobs in the department, since the project will continue to require long term support for the foreseeable future.
What sort of legal recourse do we potentially have? Is there any way to force the company to release us back to the business or properly compensate us for the lost career opportunities we have apparently suffered?
I'm not a lawyer and there may be additional details we don't know about that could change this answer, but unless you have a contract with the company that has been violated, I don't see anything legally actionable here. Assuming there's no discrimination based on legally protected classes, when a company isn't paying you what you'd like, the recourse you have is not the law, but rather your status as a free agent who can walk away.
If I may rant for a moment: People are way too quick to assume they can litigate when their employer does something unfair, jerky, or stupid. The law does not protect you against unfair, jerky, or stupid bosses. It does protect you against being treated differently because of your race, gender, religion, or membership in various other protected classes.
Okay, rant over. And it wasn't really directed at you. This misunderstanding is everywhere.
So. You guys have put up with unfair treatment for seven years. It's good that you're asking the company to correct the situation, but you should figure out if you're prepared to walk away if you don't get what you want, or something close to it. You can't make the company do what you want; all you can control is whether or not you choose to accept what they're offering you.
Sometimes when people are in these situations where they are angry and feel mistreated, they lose sight of the fact that they do (usually) have options. If you don't like what's being offered, go out there and see what other offers the world has for you. You might find one you like a lot better -- or you might decide that you'd rather stay put, despite the current terms. But you'll be picking it deliberately, rather than just accepting it by default.
By the way, when negotiating, it doesn't hurt to let them get the sense that you're willing to walk (especially since after seven years, they're probably feeling complacent). Just be reasonably subtle about it: Don't come across like you're making a threat; decent managers will pick up on the hint. Good luck!
I work at a highly respected multi-billion dollar aviation corporation. This company has been in a long-term project that I have been involved with for nearly seven years.
During the duration of this project, I have been "on loan," along with several other employees from various business areas. Our various official job titles and compensation levels have remained tied to our home departments and our "real" jobs. None of us are doing our normal job functions, our job responsibilities are significantly different and in general are broader in scope than our contemporaries and yet we do similar functions within the special project group. We have a significant base pay imbalance across a small group of people, all with similar new responsibilities. All of us have attempted at one time or another to interview within the company for positions outside the special project group and not once has anyone been successful in these attempts. We have been attempting to get the management to create permanent jobs in the department, since the project will continue to require long term support for the foreseeable future.
What sort of legal recourse do we potentially have? Is there any way to force the company to release us back to the business or properly compensate us for the lost career opportunities we have apparently suffered?
I'm not a lawyer and there may be additional details we don't know about that could change this answer, but unless you have a contract with the company that has been violated, I don't see anything legally actionable here. Assuming there's no discrimination based on legally protected classes, when a company isn't paying you what you'd like, the recourse you have is not the law, but rather your status as a free agent who can walk away.
If I may rant for a moment: People are way too quick to assume they can litigate when their employer does something unfair, jerky, or stupid. The law does not protect you against unfair, jerky, or stupid bosses. It does protect you against being treated differently because of your race, gender, religion, or membership in various other protected classes.
Okay, rant over. And it wasn't really directed at you. This misunderstanding is everywhere.
So. You guys have put up with unfair treatment for seven years. It's good that you're asking the company to correct the situation, but you should figure out if you're prepared to walk away if you don't get what you want, or something close to it. You can't make the company do what you want; all you can control is whether or not you choose to accept what they're offering you.
Sometimes when people are in these situations where they are angry and feel mistreated, they lose sight of the fact that they do (usually) have options. If you don't like what's being offered, go out there and see what other offers the world has for you. You might find one you like a lot better -- or you might decide that you'd rather stay put, despite the current terms. But you'll be picking it deliberately, rather than just accepting it by default.
By the way, when negotiating, it doesn't hurt to let them get the sense that you're willing to walk (especially since after seven years, they're probably feeling complacent). Just be reasonably subtle about it: Don't come across like you're making a threat; decent managers will pick up on the hint. Good luck!
didn't give full two weeks notice
A reader writes:
I quit my first job out of college after staying at a company for a year because I found a new opportunity. However, I did not give a full two weeks notice. I told my manager the day he came back from a vacation and by that time, I had to start my new job in a week and a half. He was very upset and asked if I could stay a week longer but I wasn't able to and I didn't want to start my new job on a negative note. It still haunts me to this day. I have learned my lesson and this time around, I gave a two month notice to my employer that I am quitting to go back to school.
When looking for a job in the future, how negatively will this affect me? And what could I do to not jeopardize future opportunities? Should I bring this up before a background check is conducted? I am sure that my future employers will find out about what happened at my first job when doing background checks because I am ineligible for rehire.
Oh jeez. Penalizing you for giving two or three days less notice than they would have preferred is silly, especially since it would have been a full two weeks if your boss hadn't been on vacation. Believe me, I am huge on giving lots of notice -- like months and months -- but two or three days really doesn't amount to much in the larger scheme of things.
You can explain this to future employers if it comes up, by explaining it exactly the way you did here. Any reasonable employer isn't going to hold it against you.
Should you bring it up ahead of time? If you're sure the reference isn't going to be a good one because of it, then yes. You could say something like, "By the way, I had glowing reviews from my boss at that job, but I was only able to give a week and a half notice rather than a full two weeks when I left, since he had been on vacation earlier. He wasn't happy about it, and I do worry that it could color that reference. I've always given lots of notice ever since." And if you can offer another reference from that company who can speak to your work there, that would be good too, although not strictly necessary. (In fact, sometimes merely offering it in this sort of situation is reassurance enough, even if they don't call the alternate.)
But I do wonder if the reference is going to be as bad as you think. It wouldn't be a bad idea to call them and ask, so that you know for sure.
By the way, if you need to give notice and your boss is on vacation, give your notice to someone else -- HR or, if you don't have an HR department, your boss' boss. Less than ideal, yes, but then you can't be blamed for not giving appropriate notice. People will understand why you wanted to alert them right away and not wait. And most of them will appreciate it.
I quit my first job out of college after staying at a company for a year because I found a new opportunity. However, I did not give a full two weeks notice. I told my manager the day he came back from a vacation and by that time, I had to start my new job in a week and a half. He was very upset and asked if I could stay a week longer but I wasn't able to and I didn't want to start my new job on a negative note. It still haunts me to this day. I have learned my lesson and this time around, I gave a two month notice to my employer that I am quitting to go back to school.
When looking for a job in the future, how negatively will this affect me? And what could I do to not jeopardize future opportunities? Should I bring this up before a background check is conducted? I am sure that my future employers will find out about what happened at my first job when doing background checks because I am ineligible for rehire.
Oh jeez. Penalizing you for giving two or three days less notice than they would have preferred is silly, especially since it would have been a full two weeks if your boss hadn't been on vacation. Believe me, I am huge on giving lots of notice -- like months and months -- but two or three days really doesn't amount to much in the larger scheme of things.
You can explain this to future employers if it comes up, by explaining it exactly the way you did here. Any reasonable employer isn't going to hold it against you.
Should you bring it up ahead of time? If you're sure the reference isn't going to be a good one because of it, then yes. You could say something like, "By the way, I had glowing reviews from my boss at that job, but I was only able to give a week and a half notice rather than a full two weeks when I left, since he had been on vacation earlier. He wasn't happy about it, and I do worry that it could color that reference. I've always given lots of notice ever since." And if you can offer another reference from that company who can speak to your work there, that would be good too, although not strictly necessary. (In fact, sometimes merely offering it in this sort of situation is reassurance enough, even if they don't call the alternate.)
But I do wonder if the reference is going to be as bad as you think. It wouldn't be a bad idea to call them and ask, so that you know for sure.
By the way, if you need to give notice and your boss is on vacation, give your notice to someone else -- HR or, if you don't have an HR department, your boss' boss. Less than ideal, yes, but then you can't be blamed for not giving appropriate notice. People will understand why you wanted to alert them right away and not wait. And most of them will appreciate it.
Monday, June 23, 2008
9 ways to start your new job right
How you handle your first few weeks on a job can set the tone for your entire stay at the new company. Here are nine ways to set yourself up right:1. You might be overwhelmed by all the new information: Don't freak out about it. I have a theory that you can only retain one third to one half of the information that's thrown at you during your first day on a job if the environment is a fast-paced one. This is normal. Eventually it'll all come together.
Want to read the rest? Head on over to U.S. News & World Report, where the full column is posted.
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