A reader writes:
So I just started a new job last week. All my co-workers come to work in jeans and sweaters for the most part. Every now and then someone will wear a nice dress or a suit. I wear nice dresses and skirts nearly every day and get compliments from my co-workers.
Yesterday I heard my boss tell my other boss that I overdress. Upon hearing this, I dressed down today and put my long hair into a pony tail. I looked like all the others. One of the two bosses I mentioned came in today and said, "She looks bad. Don't invite her to the meeting with X company today. I don't want them to think that people who look like that work here." What's up with that ?
Either (a) your boss is ridiculous, rude, and petty, or (b) you dressed down too far without realizing it.
I'd just handle it head-on. Say to your boss, "I know this may sound silly, but I'm not sure I'm figuring out the dress code correctly. Is there anything I should be doing differently?"
But then I'm a confronter. What do others think?
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
protecting references from overload
A reader writes:
I am always on a job prowl and, thus, in need of references. I read that it's good to give references the job descriptions and updates so they can be prepared to give a good reference. However, as I am doing a wide sweeping job search, I am reluctant to email them time and time again. Should I email them a general email listing the types of jobs I might be looking for? Or, should I update them more about the actual positions so they won't be surprised over the next two months? I tried maintaining good communication with them by emailing them, asking about updates on what they're doing and offering to help in projects related to ones I have worked on before. Yet, from their responses, I know most of them are really very busy.
Actually, there's a very easy answer to this: Don't provide prospective employers with your references until you're in the final stages of interviewing for a job. Most employers aren't going to check references until they're seriously considering making you an offer anyway (it's time-consuming and there's no point until you're seriously considering hiring someone). In fact, wait until the employer specifically asks you for your references -- at that point and only at that point, provide them and give your references a heads-up, with details about the nature of the job.
And if an employer asks you for your references at the very outset of the process, it's completely fine to request that they not be contacted until the employer is seriously interested in making you an offer (and that you be notified first so that you can alert them).
I am always on a job prowl and, thus, in need of references. I read that it's good to give references the job descriptions and updates so they can be prepared to give a good reference. However, as I am doing a wide sweeping job search, I am reluctant to email them time and time again. Should I email them a general email listing the types of jobs I might be looking for? Or, should I update them more about the actual positions so they won't be surprised over the next two months? I tried maintaining good communication with them by emailing them, asking about updates on what they're doing and offering to help in projects related to ones I have worked on before. Yet, from their responses, I know most of them are really very busy.
Actually, there's a very easy answer to this: Don't provide prospective employers with your references until you're in the final stages of interviewing for a job. Most employers aren't going to check references until they're seriously considering making you an offer anyway (it's time-consuming and there's no point until you're seriously considering hiring someone). In fact, wait until the employer specifically asks you for your references -- at that point and only at that point, provide them and give your references a heads-up, with details about the nature of the job.
And if an employer asks you for your references at the very outset of the process, it's completely fine to request that they not be contacted until the employer is seriously interested in making you an offer (and that you be notified first so that you can alert them).
Monday, October 27, 2008
don't stalk the hiring manager
Don't cross the line from enthusiastic job-seeker to irritating stalker. Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about how to navigate the line. Please check it out, comment, etc.!(After I wrote this, I saw that the awesome Rachel over at I Hate HR is getting bothered by this too. Check out hers as well.)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
screaming boss
A reader writes:
I have a question about a manager at work. I work in the pharmacy department of the store, but the other night I witnessed a front store manager being extremely rude and disrespectful to a front store employee in front of customers and other staff. The employee just wanted to go on break, and paged the manager. The manager dropped what he was doing and when they met, he started yelling out loud "YOU COME TO ME, DON'T YOU EVER PAGE ME FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN." The reaction of the customers was shocking, and also most of the pharmacy staff. If this happens again to anyone else, what rights does the employee have?
Rights, as in legal rights? None, really. It's not illegal for a manager to be a jerk. Unwise, yes (because good employees will eventually leave over it), but allowed.
However, the employees of the store could certainly complain to the manager's manager, who probably has no idea that this manager is behaving this way -- and if even nothing else, would likely object to it being done in front of customers.
If I were this manager's boss and I heard about this, I'd have a very serious talk with him, both about using authority appropriately and about not making customers uncomfortable. Of course, there are plenty of bad bosses out there, so there's no guarantee that this boss will respond that way -- but the fact that the guy did this in front of customers works to your advantage here, because you can couch your concern in that context, which makes it safe for you to bring up (you're worried that customers are being made uncomfortable). And if he's a good boss, he'll realize that's not the only troubling aspect of this.
I have a question about a manager at work. I work in the pharmacy department of the store, but the other night I witnessed a front store manager being extremely rude and disrespectful to a front store employee in front of customers and other staff. The employee just wanted to go on break, and paged the manager. The manager dropped what he was doing and when they met, he started yelling out loud "YOU COME TO ME, DON'T YOU EVER PAGE ME FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN." The reaction of the customers was shocking, and also most of the pharmacy staff. If this happens again to anyone else, what rights does the employee have?
Rights, as in legal rights? None, really. It's not illegal for a manager to be a jerk. Unwise, yes (because good employees will eventually leave over it), but allowed.
However, the employees of the store could certainly complain to the manager's manager, who probably has no idea that this manager is behaving this way -- and if even nothing else, would likely object to it being done in front of customers.
If I were this manager's boss and I heard about this, I'd have a very serious talk with him, both about using authority appropriately and about not making customers uncomfortable. Of course, there are plenty of bad bosses out there, so there's no guarantee that this boss will respond that way -- but the fact that the guy did this in front of customers works to your advantage here, because you can couch your concern in that context, which makes it safe for you to bring up (you're worried that customers are being made uncomfortable). And if he's a good boss, he'll realize that's not the only troubling aspect of this.
can after-hours event be required?
A reader writes:
Our company has a quarterly all-hands meeting that informs the employees of the financial status, what’s coming up, etc. There is a happy hour afterward at a different location than the meeting, usually at a local bar/restaurant. Can a manager require employees to attend an “after hours” function once a quarter?
Yes. Although if you're non-exempt, you would need to be paid for the time.
Now, is it smart? Maybe not. If it inconveniences some employees (by requiring them to make special child-care arrangements, miss an evening class, etc.) or just annoys them, it's probably smarter and more considerate to plan the event for during the regular work day. But this isn't that unusual of a practice.
Our company has a quarterly all-hands meeting that informs the employees of the financial status, what’s coming up, etc. There is a happy hour afterward at a different location than the meeting, usually at a local bar/restaurant. Can a manager require employees to attend an “after hours” function once a quarter?
Yes. Although if you're non-exempt, you would need to be paid for the time.
Now, is it smart? Maybe not. If it inconveniences some employees (by requiring them to make special child-care arrangements, miss an evening class, etc.) or just annoys them, it's probably smarter and more considerate to plan the event for during the regular work day. But this isn't that unusual of a practice.
Friday, October 24, 2008
on balls and lack thereof
I'm not one to spend a lot of time agonizing about the gender politics of being a woman in a position of authority. Sure, I'm aware that certain things I do will come across to some people as "bitchy" when a man doing or saying the same things would come across as assertive. Oh well. If people want to think I'm a bitch, fine. I'm not bothered by it, and I tend to think that you can't be too troubled by it if you want to be effective. After all, if women (or men) don't know how to handle occasional stupidity, they're not going to get much done in the world.
(Speaking of which, I was baffled earlier this year by all the hand-wringing over those Hillary Clinton nutcrackers. If there were an Ask a Manager nutcracker, I would buy a bunch up and give them as gifts.)
But I will tell you this: The selection of Sarah Palin, the reaction to Sarah Palin, and Sarah Palin herself are humiliating to professional women, especially those of us who thought we could move beyond gender in the workplace.
I am sorry, because I know you don't come here to read about politics (and I already indulged myself earlier in the year when I wrote about Barack Obama seeming like a good manager, whereas Hillary Clinton ... didn't). But I can think of little that has made me feel condescended to on the basis of my gender like this has.
Apparently, large swaths of the country find it acceptable, even charming, to wink and flirt in the equivalent of a job interview for a position of life-and-death importance. And most politicians and commentators, it turns out, think we're supposed to treat female candidates with some degree of delicacy (such as all the advice to Biden not to take Palin on directly in the debate). And large segments of the public are apparently willing to accept that male candidates for office will be attacked on every discoverable point of vulnerability, as well as plenty that don't actually exist, but it's okay to cry sexism when it happens to a woman.
No matter what your politics, how is this not a humiliation to every woman who thought she could get beyond gender?
I want to be hit as hard as my opponent would hit a man. I want to be judged on something more relevant than feminine charm (assuming I'm not on a date). I want to see if I can win it on my merits, and if I can't, I don't want the job just because you think you'd like to hire a woman.
I thought that had become the social contract, to a large extent. But we've now seen in a pretty devastating way that it's not.
(Speaking of which, I was baffled earlier this year by all the hand-wringing over those Hillary Clinton nutcrackers. If there were an Ask a Manager nutcracker, I would buy a bunch up and give them as gifts.)
But I will tell you this: The selection of Sarah Palin, the reaction to Sarah Palin, and Sarah Palin herself are humiliating to professional women, especially those of us who thought we could move beyond gender in the workplace.
I am sorry, because I know you don't come here to read about politics (and I already indulged myself earlier in the year when I wrote about Barack Obama seeming like a good manager, whereas Hillary Clinton ... didn't). But I can think of little that has made me feel condescended to on the basis of my gender like this has.
Apparently, large swaths of the country find it acceptable, even charming, to wink and flirt in the equivalent of a job interview for a position of life-and-death importance. And most politicians and commentators, it turns out, think we're supposed to treat female candidates with some degree of delicacy (such as all the advice to Biden not to take Palin on directly in the debate). And large segments of the public are apparently willing to accept that male candidates for office will be attacked on every discoverable point of vulnerability, as well as plenty that don't actually exist, but it's okay to cry sexism when it happens to a woman.
No matter what your politics, how is this not a humiliation to every woman who thought she could get beyond gender?
I want to be hit as hard as my opponent would hit a man. I want to be judged on something more relevant than feminine charm (assuming I'm not on a date). I want to see if I can win it on my merits, and if I can't, I don't want the job just because you think you'd like to hire a woman.
I thought that had become the social contract, to a large extent. But we've now seen in a pretty devastating way that it's not.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
should I report an ethics violation?
A reader writes:
I work at a field office of a national nonprofit intermediary that provides financial and technical assistance to local community organizations. A week ago a coworker of mine told me that a representative from a community organization that we are funding had recently approached him with some disturbing news. Apparently, this organization had hired a consultant to help them work through some financial management issues. Unfortunately for the community organization, the consultant quit in the middle of the project. Unfortunately for my organization, the consultant in question is another coworker in my office, who was apparently out freelancing on this project. Our organization does allow staff to provide consulting services to other nonprofits, but naturally any revenue comes back to the organization, not directly to the employee (since our organization's whole point is to provide these services).
Also making things more complicated is the fact that the coworker providing the consulting sits on a committee that makes decisions re: public funding to nonprofit organizations, including the organization involved here.
This seems like a pretty cut and dry violation of our organizational conflict of interest policy. I told the coworker who spoke with the representative of the community organization that he should report the incident through our our anonymous and confidential system. However, he has said he does not want to do so. The downside for our organization could be pretty severe if this boils over, and I am inclined to report this incident myself. I am reluctant to do this, however, since the information was shared with me secondhand. Also, our office is very small (less than a dozen people) and morale is at a low point now (for other reasons). Any subsequent investigation by our legal department would only accentuate the tension that's already there. Should I just mind my own business? I'm very interested in a manager's perspective on this.
If you think there could be serious consequences for your organization, and it sounds like you do, you should report it. You shouldn't be deterred by the fact that you learned it secondhand; you can make that clear when you report it, and then it will be up to the organization to investigate and get to the bottom of it.
Sometimes I advise people not to report something, when it's small. But we're not talking about noticing that someone is 10 minutes late every day, or someone saying they were sick when they really just wanted a day off, or other things that don't really matter in the scheme of things. When something is serious or potentially serious, when it could affect the organization's reputation or integrity or finances or effectiveness, then I think you have to speak up.
You can give plenty of caveats -- "I want to stress that I don't know if there's any truth to this," "I don't know this to be true firsthand," etc. -- but you should speak up. Do it discreetly, but say something.
I work at a field office of a national nonprofit intermediary that provides financial and technical assistance to local community organizations. A week ago a coworker of mine told me that a representative from a community organization that we are funding had recently approached him with some disturbing news. Apparently, this organization had hired a consultant to help them work through some financial management issues. Unfortunately for the community organization, the consultant quit in the middle of the project. Unfortunately for my organization, the consultant in question is another coworker in my office, who was apparently out freelancing on this project. Our organization does allow staff to provide consulting services to other nonprofits, but naturally any revenue comes back to the organization, not directly to the employee (since our organization's whole point is to provide these services).
Also making things more complicated is the fact that the coworker providing the consulting sits on a committee that makes decisions re: public funding to nonprofit organizations, including the organization involved here.
This seems like a pretty cut and dry violation of our organizational conflict of interest policy. I told the coworker who spoke with the representative of the community organization that he should report the incident through our our anonymous and confidential system. However, he has said he does not want to do so. The downside for our organization could be pretty severe if this boils over, and I am inclined to report this incident myself. I am reluctant to do this, however, since the information was shared with me secondhand. Also, our office is very small (less than a dozen people) and morale is at a low point now (for other reasons). Any subsequent investigation by our legal department would only accentuate the tension that's already there. Should I just mind my own business? I'm very interested in a manager's perspective on this.
If you think there could be serious consequences for your organization, and it sounds like you do, you should report it. You shouldn't be deterred by the fact that you learned it secondhand; you can make that clear when you report it, and then it will be up to the organization to investigate and get to the bottom of it.
Sometimes I advise people not to report something, when it's small. But we're not talking about noticing that someone is 10 minutes late every day, or someone saying they were sick when they really just wanted a day off, or other things that don't really matter in the scheme of things. When something is serious or potentially serious, when it could affect the organization's reputation or integrity or finances or effectiveness, then I think you have to speak up.
You can give plenty of caveats -- "I want to stress that I don't know if there's any truth to this," "I don't know this to be true firsthand," etc. -- but you should speak up. Do it discreetly, but say something.
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